I flew to Las Vegas in March of this year for my first Passion Parties Convention.
Each plane I flew on I required a lap belt extension to reach the clasp. Embarrassing, yes - but because I am cool, I played it off like I didn't care. It was just a fact. I am too fat to be able to affix the standard belt. But it cut me deep, I do NOT want to be like this. I want to look like the person I feel like. I feel hot, sexy and confident.
But more than that I don't want to DIE. I want to live a complete and active life. I have enjoyed being active even as an obese person (yep, I said it obese) - I have incredible stamina and love pushing myself to do things with my body that some of my skinny counterparts find difficult.
But with the last re-gain, re-fat or whatever you call it I have lost an immense amount of strength and stamina. I suck at doing stuff now. I did a 90 minute Bikram Yoga class in early December! However within 24 hours I injured (stepped off a stair wrong) my left ankle so badly I was in a walking cast and limping for weeks.
So there I was in Las Vegas and feeling like a gigantic monster of fat. The women in this business are for the most part quite lovely. Many are drop dead gorgeous and thin. It is not a prerequisite obviously, but a stunning observation I had while at Convention.
When I came back from Convention I had carpel tunnel surgery and spent time thinking about why I want to lose weight. Why is it so hard to keep on a plan, or to even get started for that matter.
I reached out to a dear friend in the psychology community to help me find someone who deals with patients with eating disorders. She quickly found me a name. I have been having personal sessions with her for a couple of months. She focuses on Congnitive Behavioral Therapy. She and a dietician run a Weight Control Therapy Group that meets weekly for 18 weeks. I signed up with my wallet ready to dole out the $830.
Stay tuned, even this old Weight Watcher is learning a few new things ..... ♥
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ReplyDeleteI love you.
ReplyDeleteI was proud to be in Vegas with you. Sexy, confident, and HOT! <3 You rock April!
ReplyDelete